By popular request, here is more information about The Tiger, as introduced in yesterday’s post.

The Tiger’s name is Raoul and he currently lives in Delhi. His voice is like my uncle Charles’s – much the same as Puss son-of Miau, but a little more urbane and less satanic (he’s mellowed.) His accent is RP with a languid colonial drawl. Shere Khan spoke the same way in The Jungle Book, so it goes with the tiger image.

Not many pubs are tiger-friendly, but it’s coming in and will soon be all the rage. It does require serious investment on the part of the brewer, with separate bars (like you had for smokers and non-smokers before the former were outlawed altogether): you can’t just write “dog-and-tiger-friendly” and hope to mix the clientele because tigers love snacking whenever they let their minds wander. All this will turn out to be a passing phase, and total integration is the eventual goal.

Raoul has discovered that Trappist beer is served in a good-enough bowl, and is thinking of transferring his custom exclusively to that brand. He imagines he’s granted an indulgence for each bottle he drinks, but a barista tells him the beer is the indulgence.

The Singaporeans (who brew Tiger Beer) aren’t going to take it lying down, and will shortly be giving away their own bowls as freebies to all licensed premises. But can pubs be trusted to put the beer in its proper bowl? On past form: no. Raoul is tormented by the thought that his beer bowl may have been used for dog water.

Like Adam and Eve, no self-respecting tiger goes out in the street in their bare fur, whatever they do in the house. Kaftans suit tigers best, or (in hot weather) long cloaks like Darth Vader’s – but they hate shiny black plastic. A hessian kaftan of an open weave strikes them as cool and stops tails getting caught in car doors, but cloaks are the thing when you’re on foot.

Raoul (a keen Darwinian) has a theory that humans once had as much hair as he does, but lost it gradually with the rise of kaftans – except in the cracks, where it serves other purposes besides insulation. Tigers have no use for blankets or togas because they can’t be bothered to keep them tucked-in.

Raoul’s paws don’t get cold and his leathery pugs do well on pavements and sidewalks. But he is in the market for some sort of sandal as smashed bottles and doggie-do grow more common on city streets.