What did you do in the war daddy?
what war?
the third world war
oh… that one

the war we wake up to every day
the war on johnnies come lately
who because they’re the masters now
say things will be different

the war on turds on our beaches
filth on our kids smartphones
knife crime in our cities
fire engulfing our tower blocks

I did my bit
I downed the pints
cheered on the teams
fed the dog and walked it

turned the telly down
to let the kids do homework
drove to work and home again
picked my doggy doo off the pavement

I looked after number one
found time for the things that mattered
the pub – the gym – the shopping –
my folks (when I couldn’t wriggle out)

if everybody did that
there’d be less trouble in the world
time wouldn’t be wasted
on people who don’t matter

people who think just because
things go all pear shaped
as they do now and then
someone ought to go to prison

let’s do it like we’ve always done it
make it a nine day wonder
say how things will be different
in kingdom come

tell the police
not to rush at things
give us all plenty of time
to shred the evidence