Fact-checked horoscopes

As the US Presidential Election race nears its final lap, The Onion is excelling itself.

• Peruse Horoscopes to inject a shot of realism into your tedious life.
• Admire the never-seen softened image of the once-and-future king.
  …Though I do think they ought to show him riding a horse bareback. (Him, not the horse.)
• Snigger at the Editorial Board endorsing Joe Biden for president. (Note for UK readers: the fun is in the way they justify themselves.)