The Onion plumbs new heights in its self-anointed quest to lighten the burden of the New World (dis)Order.

Man At Job Interview Praying He Isn’t Asked About 2-Year Gap In Résumé When He Was Abducted By Aliens
[The Onion, Jan 22, 2026]

What about some future historian worrying someone will ask him about the 4 year gap in his History of the USA when the entire nation was abducted by evil clowns?