TANNOY

This is a staff announcement.
Would a member of staff from the kitchen department
kindly prepare two slices of the staff of life
with cheese and tomato between them
and bring them to the staff announcer,
who’s ravenous
and can’t leave the microphone.

This is a customer announcement.
Without staff we can’t serve you
and your visit to this store becomes
a waste of your precious time,
so it’s in your own interests
to be nice to them.

This is a staff announcement.
Without customers we have no business
and you have no jobs,
so it’s in your own interests
to keep them onside.

This is a customer announcement.
Ugly, surly, unsmiling and
incompetent retail workers
need love too.

Jonathan Atkinson
12 June 2006